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the U.S. Congress to ensure ocean health through electoral and legislative action.

Drill Here? Drill Now?

Posted by: Mike Mishler

So it looks like they’ll be drilling this week. Of course first there will be some exploratory poking and prodding then of those dreaded words, “You may feel a little discomfort”, followed by the drilling, the tears, some blood, and finally, “Rinse please.”

I’m talking about the dentist.
Say Ahh

What where you thinking?

The Big Rig Newton

Oh that’s right, this is the week our representatives in Washington will carefully consider allowing offshore drilling so that in 20 years gas will only be $22.47 a gallon instead of $23.17 a gallon. (Hint for economists. When making up a number always make it some odd number, that way it makes it look more real.)
I expect there will be angry voices invoking national security needs, yelling about the need to act now without wasting a lot of time “thinking.” I expect there will be a sound clip along the lines of:

We have wasted too much time talking and thinking. What has thinking ever done for us? We have seen the danger of thinking too much and the paralysis it causes, Okay, not in the last eight years, but in the past thinking and reasoned debate has only led to trouble. Where would we be if our founding fathers had wasted their time thinking and debating when they founded the greatest nation in the history of the world?

Meanwhile the American driver, in the throes of ecstasy, will be dancing around like Maria in West Side Story singing “Drill here!/Drill Now!” as they try on pretty dresses and an even bigger SUV. At the same time, two rival street gangs, Hell’s Speculators and the Oil Barons, will dance together on the gridlocked streets singing, “I want to drill in America/Oil is free in America!”

Wow, I think I could get elected on that platform.

Here’s the deal though, I know that going to the dentist it is going to cost me money. No matter what I do, floss, brush regularly, and use baking soda instead of toothpaste. (I don’t know what good it does but you never have to add salt to your food again.) I do all the things I’m supposed to do and it doesn’t matter. Turns out you can brush too hard, floss too much and baking soda? What the heck where you thinking?
“Well, it’s natural.”
“Yeah, so is sand.”

The thing is, I can never escape the fact that as I get older my teeth are wearing down and I will have more problems. So the answer, in this case, apparently is, “Drill baby, Drill!” But do you ever pause to wonder about the motives of the people pushing the hardest to drill offshore? Or who is most likely to profit from hasty decisions? (Paging Dr. Barrel, Dr Oil Barrel.) At least my dentist takes x-rays, shows me the problem, and explains the options before the drill comes out. And if he drills I don’t have to wait decades to know if it helped. I do have to say, I’m still a little creeped out when he goes on about national security needs and wraps himself in the flag just before shooting me full of Novocain. But hey, what is it they say about pain and gain, or is it numb and dumb?

Date Posted: September 17, 2008 @ 9:54 am

1 Comment »

  1. When Bush1 sent around a task force on offshore oil in the ’80’s, I recall at a public meeting one of the biggest opponents of drilling off the coast of California was the military. Using national security as the reason - they did not want any offshore oil rigs near Camp Pendleton - it would interfere with their practice maneuvers. When pressed by the task force of what the military would do if they encountered oil rigs in a real combat situation. The military replied, “We’d just blow them the hell out of the water”

    Comment by Maureen — September 17, 2008 @ 4:44 pm

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Ocean Champions is the only political voice for ocean health. We take a non-partisan approach in working with the U.S. Congress to ensure ocean health through electoral and legislative action.

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